No doubt about it—we’re living in frightening times, times few of us have ever before experienced. The world has changed overnight, it seems, and unless you’re someone in denial that we’re facing a serious public health crisis, you’ve been spending a lot of time at home.

“Physical distancing” is a better term than social distancing. We have to stay socially connected through this. Community building, togetherness, and emotional connections via electronic devices are imperative for our mental health.

We can stay in connection with each other on the phone, webcam, and many other online formats. Now is a time to be intentional and interactive and not to isolate. We are wired to be social and luckily can maintain that with technology.

As a therapist, I’ve seen the many and varied ways people react to unexpectedly having to spend more time with their spouses, lovers, relatives, and so on. Some folks do fine with this extended proximity, but others find themselves dealing with increased stress levels and unresolved issues from the past that become magnified, whether with our teenage children, our spouses or our relatives. Being cooped up can sometimes bring out the worst in us.

Those who are alone for long periods of time can experience feelings of anxiety or depression. Admittedly, I have experienced some of my own so far and have had to do self-soothing and practice my own advice of getting centered and grounded. I suggest that you think of this as a time not as “social distancing,” as it’s being called, but rather “physical distancing.” We may be stuck in the house, but there are so many ways for us to reach out and connect with others and doing so helps regain perspective on our connectedness.

I also did a podcast on the coronavirus to get the most recent facts.

Let me offer some more suggestions about dealing with this situation:

Aggression. One of our most basic responses to fear is aggression. I’m seeing an increase of this amongst folks. Remember this when you find yourself becoming angry and aggressive in a conversation with someone you’re cooped up with and take a time out. Take some deep breaths or go into another room, go look in the mirror, count to 10, or take a walk in the fresh air. Then come back in a non-reactive way. Practice goodwill like you would with a child who did something wrong. Remember that your partner is doing the best they can under the circumstances.

Communication. Now, more than ever, we need to practice better communication with others. This is the main reason people enter therapy. They take things personally, interpret what others are saying, interrupt and stop listening. This is a great time to use intentional dialogue with those with whom you are living and your friends. This includes using “I” statements when speaking such as:

“I heard you say …”
“What I experienced you say or do is …”
“How this is affecting me is …”
As a listener, it is crucial that you repeat back what you’re hearing to make sure you heard it correctly. “What I hear you saying is …” and then repeat back verbatim what you heard them say and tell them you’re doing this to ensure you’re getting it correctly. Then ask them if you are. These skills are important to do especially when you’re having an emotional reaction.